SAME SEX ON THE MOVES!
1. Setting Up for Success
Love the body you're in. Yes, your partner's too but mostly....you! Feeling self-conscious or embarrassed of your body can make sex humiliating, and takes all the fun out of it. If you struggle with body image issues that are negatively affecting your sex life, then make it a priority to rectify what you can and accept what you cannot. Don't try to change your body in order to please other people. Only make changes that you feel comfortable with, and that you know will improve your overall life and health. Acknowledge that some things can't be changed, and that you deserve to be with somebody who accepts you for who you are.
Be happy and let them see it. Your partner needs to see that you're enthusiastic and that you want to be there. Being shy or coy will only make them self conscious, which will make the experience worse for both of you. Let yourself enjoy the experience and don't be afraid to let them see that you're enjoying it too.
Focus on their enjoyment. See their orgasm as your goal line, not your own. Of course, it's important for you to get what you're looking for from a sexual relationship too, but you should start by setting a good example. The better you make them feel, the more they're going to want to rise to the challenge.
Communicate with your partner. No matter how well you think you may know each other, your partner isn't a mind reader. If something specific is lacking in your sex life, then it's important to talk about it so that you can make the necessary changes. If your partner is really committed to you, then he or she will be willing to listen and respect your needs. You should also make a point of asking your partner what they want and what they like. Let them know that you want to hear it when you do something that feels good.
Pay attention to your partner. The key to good sex is to make sure that you're processing and acknowledging your partner's reactions to the experience. When you see them wince, stop, because you might be hurting them. When you hear them moan, repeat the motion you just did because it probably feels really good. Most importantly, pay attention to if they seem nervous or uncomfortable. Just because someone doesn't say "no" doesn't mean that they won't feel taken advantage of later.
2. Mastering the Act
Ditch the porn stereotypes. Stop thinking of sex in terms of what you see in porn. Porn is shot and set up to look good on camera, but it usually doesn't reflect what actually feels good or what a real sexual encounter looks like. Try to go in with no expectations. Just let things go naturally.
Treat sex like a vacation. You want to enjoy every minute of the entire experience. It shouldn't be a get-in-get-out operation (this is another reason why it's important to have good chemistry). So, enjoy the whole sexual experience. Slow down. Explore your partner's whole body. Don't just go for the cliche parts. You should even make a point to keep kissing. Returning for a sexy make out every now and again can be a great way to draw out the experience.
Don't skip foreplay. Before jumping right to the main event, spend some time kissing, caressing, and pleasing one another. Foreplay can make sex last longer and feel more sensual and romantic. Women especially find that foreplay is helpful in getting them in the right mood, whereas men are usually "ready to go" at any moment. Men, it's in your best interest to have your lady in the mood: it will increase her natural lubrication!
Keep the compliments flowing. You should make sure that your partner never doubts for a moment that you think they are pretty much the hottest thing on the planet (maybe even the hottest thing for the next couple planets). When you see something you like, let them know. You don't always have to say it, but take time to enjoy it. Let them see you enjoying it too. Don't be afraid to let them see that hungry-tiger look in your eyes.
Lube up. This is SO IMPORTANT to good sex, we cannot emphasize it enough (especially if your partner is a lady-type person!). Sexual interactions involve a lot of friction, right? Friction is good. But it also has its downsides. Have you ever gotten rope or carpet burn? Yeah. Pour on the lube. Avoid the evils of genital friction burns.
Vary the pressure and movements that you use. This is pretty much the entire key to "using it right" as they say. It really, in the end, doesn't matter how you're...shaped or endowed. It really is all in how you use it. For example, women have almost no nerve endings inside their vaginas. All of the sensitivity is around the outside and first 3". Pelvic movements should then be in a figure 8 shape to feel good to her, instead of just a basic in-and-out thrust.
Maintain a good rhythm. Good, steady rhythm that slowly builds is a great way to turn basic sex moves into amazing ones. Have you ever had something feel really incredible and then you get interrupted? It's hard to get that perfect feeling again. That's why good rhythm is key.
Make some noise. Of course, you don't want to go over the top, but making some basic moans and gasps lets your partner know not only when something feels good and they should do more of it, it also tells that that you're enjoying the experience. This will heighten their enjoyment and also encourage them to put in more effort. Just do what feels natural and try not to hold back as much.
Don't be afraid to add some kink. You don't need to go full blown Fifty Shades, but some basic kink can really add variety and interest to your sex life. The problem is that sex can easily become routine, especially when you've been with someone for awhile. To keep it great or make it better, you want to break up the monotony. Nothing says "goodbye monotony" like silk blindfolds, fuzzy handcuffs, and a fun game of Bad Cop.
You should also experiment with sex toys! They are not just the realm of lonely women and lesbians. Men are very sensitive to a vibrator around their testicles. Vibrators aren't even the only toys. Do some research and see what you might be missing out on.
Indulge in fantasies. Lots of people have very specific sexual fantasies that they are too embarrassed to share with their partners. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, then share your fantasies with one another and then take turns trying each one out.
Have more oral sex. Usually this particular piece of advice is aimed at men, who tend to be better about receiving than giving, but really this applies to both genders. Oral sex is pleasurable (often more so than "traditional" sex) and it's a good way to keep things from becoming too routine.
Take some initiative. If you're usually the submissive partner, try taking charge every now and again. Give some orders. Say what you want. Get on top. They'll love the break from the norm and you'll get a chance to put your pleasure first.
Learn to finish together. Sex is best when everyone leaves satisfied. Of course, one of the best ways to do this is to learn to finish together. It can take some practice and you might need to work on your stamina, but it is incredibly rewarding in the end.
Men, pay attention to woman's breasts. Stop once in a while to admire them and suck on them. This may sound weird but it works. When you suck on them do it really fast if you are having rough sex but really slow if you're not.
Women, to improve the experience stop at least twice to suck on your partners penis. This also might sound weird but enhances the experience. The same speed applies with breast sucking. Make sure to suck on his whole penis and lick it. Men should also lick the women's vagina really slow or fast in both rough and normal sex. For both genders do all of this for a couple of minutes.
Never let anything become routine. Never, never, never let sex become routine. Yeah, you know just what to do to make him orgasm instantly, but that doesn't mean you should! Sex shouldn't be something that feels routine and planned, like brushing your teeth. If you and your partner have sex at the same time every day (or night) then it's time to mix things up. Keep variation in the positions you use, where you have sex, who's in control, what extras you use, etc.
Have more spontaneous sex. Having sex at an unexpected time or an unexpected place can add an element of spontaneity to your sex life, making it feel exciting and new again.
Always end with a good cuddle! Emotional bonds do, for most people, make sex more enjoyable. Sex is just more fun with someone that you care about. The best sex you'll have will be with somebody who you are attracted to, who you trust, and who you feel comfortable enough to let loose with. Nothing drives home the feeling of having sex with someone you love deeply like a good post-coital cuddle!
3. Trying New Positions
Try the cowgirl family of positions. These are positions where the woman is on top. This gives a woman more control and can be a great way to reduce pain and ensure that you orgasm together. It's also a good position if the male member is...less than large.
Try doggy style. Ignore the name: this position is great for pregnant women and certain types of female stimulation. It is also good for those who gain more pleasure from the intense sensations associated with rougher sex.
Try the Coital-Alignment Technique. This is a sexual position which has been studied and proven to provide the most stimulation for women, allowing you to both get the most from the experience. It is similar to the traditional missionary, but the man aligns his hip bones so that the pelvic area provides more stimulus for the woman's clitoris. This creates more of a grinding motion than a thrusting one, but it makes everyone happier in the end.
Try side by side positions. If one or both of you has back or joint pain, or if the man is just too big for the woman to take comfortably, side by side positions can offer more control and comfort. Both partners will be laying on their side for these positions. There are many variations so find what works best for you.
TIPS:
As with anything else, sex takes practice in order to perfect. If you are new to sex, then don't panic if it isn't amazing from the get-go. You're still learning about your own body and about what techniques and maneuvers work (and which ones don't) in bed.
Lots of people find that sex without a condom is more pleasurable for both parties. If you are on birth control and both you and your partner have recently been tested for sexually transmitted diseases, then try having sex the au natural way.
WARNING!!!
Always, always, ALWAYS practice safe sex.
Always, always, ALWAYS practice safe sex.
Remember that birth control does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases, and is not 100% effective in preventing unplanned pregnancies.
If you are in the United States, local and state laws dictate the legality of sexual relations between individuals and are often contingent on the ages and familial relationship of the involved persons.
